So, like my adversary, I am a Communication major here at Bryant. However, unlike my opponent, I might not attend as many classes as she does. Despite this, I have gotten to learn about communication styles and I have had my own experiences. I know enough about relationships and how much arguing is too much arguing. All of my friends will tell you that every time I talked to my ex-girlfriend, I had to lace up my boxing gloves and get ready for 12 rounds.
By opening with this, you would think that I think arguing with a partner is bad. However, I do agree with my opponent, in saying that too little arguing is bad. A relationship cannot work if there is always tension and things that are left unsaid. It is healthy for people to get things off their chest (no, ladies, not your shirts), and it’s not good to have emotions kept secret. If feelings are left bottled up, eventually, that bottle is going to explode.
In addition, arguing brings out the true sides of people and how they really feel about a situation. One of the most important values in a relationship is honesty, and two people cannot be honest if they are hiding how they feel. Arguing will help two people come forth about their issues. If these issues are talked about, then the couple can work towards building a stronger bond.
On the flip side, as a guy who was in a relationship that thrived off arguing, I can tell you that too much arguing can be the worst thing for any two people. There needs to be a set limit on how much fighting is too much. Once people’s feelings are hurt, the argument has gotten completely out of hand. What is yelling and screaming (and in my case crying) going to solve? Probably nothing, and that’s when the fighting needs to be ended.
As a busy college student, I never had time for the immaturity and childish games in a relationship. I had too much on my plate at the time. If getting used to college wasn’t enough, I had to deal with constant arguing every night. I used to joke around and say that I scheduled my fights with my ex on class schedule. But, all jokes aside, if you are with someone that thinks it’s okay to argue and fight, and really have time for the immaturity, then that is someone you don’t want to be with. If that person has the audacity to distract you from your busy college routine just to fight about something very minor or insignificant, then how much do they really care about you? Arguing in excess can be very selfish and inconsiderate and is no way to build a healthy relationship.
Another main reason why people argue is because of insecurity. Jealousy has been a major contributor to arguing and destroying relationships. Whether it’s talking to another girl, accepting a friend request, or even spending time with another person because of a group project, for some people, this can just fuel the fire for an argument. Also, when someone has a jealousy problem, it can raise a simple question: does that person have something to hide? A person may think that someone is insecure because that person has done something, and doesn’t want to feel as bad about it. This can just lead to more arguing.
So, ladies, let us know how you’re feeling, but don’t tell us in a shouting match. Arguing can help a relationship, but it can also end one, and there’s no arguing that.